Football and Wakes

Maybe I shouldn’t have titled this post with the word football, because there’s only one game to talk about today.  The defending champion Colts are opening the season in Indy against the Saints who are coming off their best season ever.  Normally, I wouldn’t care, but I’ve been so damn excited for this new season that I’d talk about the Raiders vs. Dolphins if that happened to be the game.  Now that’s desperation.

This matchup intrigues me.  I feel that both Peyton and Drew are evenly matched QB’s, with the running game definately being an advantage to the Saints.  Indy has 75% of their SB team returning, with a lot of new guys on Defense.  I hate to sound like the guy who picks against the Colts because they hate Peyton, but I’m smelling upset.  I feel that Bush is gonna see a lot more action this year, and can only keep getting better in his sophmore year (he’s no Cadillac Williams).  Drew Brees had a tremendous year in 2006, and no one expected him to do anything.  I’m pickin Saints to upset the Colts 30-27.

I went to a wake today, and I have to say, it wasn’t that bad.  Usually I hate wakes because you have to wait in line, say your condolonsces to 10-12 people when you only know 1 or 2 of the family, and its always terribly awkward your wearing uncomfortable clothes and it smells like funeral flowers and bad perfume.

This family knew what they were doing.  NO LINE.  I felt like I was in that Where’s Waldo puzzle where your in the ‘Land of Waldos’ and you have to find the real Waldo who has something slighly different from the other Waldos.  I walk into a big room full of Irish people who all look and talk the same, like background characters of the Departed.  I find the two guys I know, give them a hug, pay my respects and get the f out.  It was great!  Left me plenty of time to go type this blog before the game.  If you have to go to a wake, pray that it’s an Irish wake.  They knows their shit.

CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ HOT RIGHT NOW-  Simpson episodes that I thought sucked, but now seem funny and relevent.  I watched a Simpson episode where the family is watching a TV show that gets cancelled after the first five minutes it airs.  They here a voice that says "stay tuned for an encore performance of Princess Di’s funeral."  Back 7 or 8 years ago, that joke just seemed like a throw away line, but now that the news for the past week has been talking about the ten year anniversary of Diana’s death, I found that hilarious.  Just watching CNN has reminded me of 1997 all over again, where every news station kept Diana’s crash as their top story for well over a month.  I used to think it was a tragedy, but now the Simpsons have showed me that it was just pretty damn stupid.

CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW-  The new presidential dollar coins.  Don’t get me wrong, I think dollar coins are great ideas.  Paper single dollar bills just seem to get worn out so fast, they take up so much of my wallet, and I never feel like paying with them anymore.  Dollar coins aren’t a bad idea.  They have wallets now that can hold them, and they’re easier to put into vending machines.  

I bought a coin album so I could collect them, and I realized that it only goes up to Reagan, and Jimmy Carter was omitted.  I read in the little booklet that "Due to the Presidential Coin Act, no living President can be featured on a coin."  Wicked gay.

First off, Jimmy Carter looks like he’s gonna die any second, so I have NO place to put his damn coin when he inevitably gets one.  Couldn’t we have just predicted his demise to come in 2008?  Second, what if I became president?  You mean to tell me that I wouldn’t live to see my own coin?  That’s so gay.  So wicked gay.