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Britney, Twitter, More Football, and So and So
By Dan | September 10, 2007
Nothing makes me more happy than when a Celebrity not only falls from grace, but does it on live TV. Last night we witnessed Britney Spears hit rock bottom. I thought she hit rock bottom when she hung her baby outside her convertible by its ankles while traveling at speeds of 110 mph. I thought she hit rock bottom when she shaved her head. I thought she hit rock bottom when she flashed the world her vag when she got out of her limo, but it just keeps getting better. She performed at the VMA and apparently didnt practice at all, never wore heels before, and looked to have a beer belly. It was awesome.
Seven years ago I used to think that Britney Spears was unobtainable, a girl that could only be in my fantasies, but now I’m thinking after a few PBR’s at Sully’s Tap after her next TD Banknorth Gardens show she just might be so impressed with my shotclock basketball skills that ol’ uncle champy-pooz might have a good shot at tubby.
Here’s the deal Britney:
You obviously like beer. I do too!
You obviously drink a lot of it. I do too!
You obviously think exercise sucks ass. I do too!
You obviously hate babies. I do too!
You obviously frequent Arby’s. I do too!
You obviously frequent Wendy’s. I do too!
You obviously frequent Taco Bell. I do too!
You obviously frequent Burger King. I do too!
You obviously frequent McDonalds. I do too!
You obviously think practicing is for suckers. I do too!
Think about it. See you at Dunkin Donuts.
Fantasy Football is so damn frustrating this year. My first two picks, Laurence Mornoney and Reggie Bush combined for 4 points in the first week. Thank God for Kitna, at least he came through with a win and 19 fantasy points. I’m stickin’ with those Lions, team of the future I say.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m digging Minnesota defense this year. I know they were playing Joey Harrington, the only 15 year old to start at QB in NFL history, but still, great job this week.
I got the best gift the other day. My friends who went on a cross country trip got me several pressed pennies for my collection. Filling up that pressed penny album that I bought at a souvenir shop for 5 bucks is just one of the things that I’ve been trying to accomplish in order to live the greatest life ever lived.
Accomplished:
Been drunk in Vegas
Driven a convertible through Mojave Desert
Ate at In N Out Burger
Ate at Jack in the Box
Spanked Strippers in Montreal
Wrestled a Invisible Bear
Wrestled Jon Gerry in a bear suit
Wrestled Guatemalan Bear de la muerte
Saw AC/DC live
Beat my boss in a Basketball game
Beat my boss in a quiz of U.S. capitals
Got a high five from Lucky the Celtics mascot.
Talked to Howie Long
Told Omeka Okafor his suit looked "kind of gay"
Had Omeka Okafor reply "you crazy dog"
Drank a bowl of blue cheese dressing for money
Had a letter written to me by the New England Regional manager of Arby’s
Met HHH
Shook Hands with HHH
Got HHH’s autograph
Ate two Big Montana’s after meeting HHH
Saw a Royal Rumble
Got a blurry picture of me and the mascot of the Vermont Lake Monsters who is also called "Champ"
Ate snails in Ottawa
Smoked a cuban cigar
Accumulated a 150 dollar bar bill on just cigars and booze
Sat courtside to see the Celtics loose
Sat at the EMC club for a sox game
Got a Mike Timlin autographed baseball for my birthday
Got the high score on duck hunt at Funspot in Weirs Beach NH
Found and ate a three chambered peanut
Ate a philly cheesesteak at Gino’s steaks
Got picture taken at a Chinese Restaurant named "House of Tang"
Coached the Sewataro Slugger Softball Team to a win against the hated Camp Fenn
Invented a sport called FLYAK, which involves standing on a kayak and opening a beach umbrella on a windy day on spy pond
Invented "the nice to be nice song"
Attended the Maine Blueberry Festival
That’s all I can think of right now. Maybe I’ll write down the things I still need to accomplish on another blog.
CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ HOT RIGHT NOW- Twitter. Thats right twitter. On twitter.com you sign up and repeatedly answer the question "what are you doing?" You can answer via email, IM, or even telephone. You can answer however you want. Simple and genius. You can even follow people that interest you. For instance, you can track my name (TheChampzilla) and see what I’ve been doing (if this big gay blog isnt already satisfying you). I think only have one entry so far, but I can update it whenever i have a moment of genius. If you ever felt like writing your thoughts, but never wanted to comit to a blog, try twitter.
CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW- Running Backs. Guys have argued all summer long about who they’re drafting and which running back should be picked at which time, and not one RB had a great game this week. Some were alright, but ntohing special. I was watching the Pats game and thought Lawrence Maroney was having a fantastic first quarter. I was so glad I drafted him as my first pick. After the second half I was wondering if Lawrence Maroney was even at the game anymore. Did Bellichick say to him "Hey good first quarter kid, but we got it from here, hit the showers." Don’t get me wrong, the Pats are stacked, and they did great, but Bellichick has to start coaching like every other coach in the NFL does, with the fantasy football owners in mind. C’mon coach. I can’t work with 70 rush yards and 0 TD’s.
Gay.
Topics: Dan, Personal, Sports |
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