Movies and Brazilian Invasion

It always seems to shock people when I tell them I see movies alone.  

"You  saw a movie by yourself?  Why didn’t you ask someone to see it with you?  Doesn’t it feel weird?"

Just imagine the shock that’s going to go through every reader of this blog (including you) when I tell them I prefer to go to movies alone.

Are you OK?

I’ll give you a minute.  

No wait.  You’ll have to take a minute yourself, walk away from the screen or something, because it would look downright silly if I put an obscene amount of empty lines that would have you scroll down the page for exactly a minute.

Some movies I like to see with a lot of people, mostly horror films and comedies.  Those are movies that really require an audiences reactions to make or break the movie.  Would I have thought Superbad was the genius comedy it was if I didn’t hear so much laughter, or would I have thought Balls of Fury was a great comedy if I had saved it for DVD and watched it by myself instead of watching it in a packed movie theatre where there was as much laughter in the audience as you would hear at a funeral?

I see movies alone when I really want to think about the film.  Films that I see alone are usually controversial, nominated for something, or are widely critically acclaimed.  Movies I have seen alone in the past are Brokeback Mountain, Match Point, The Three Burials, and Sunshine.

I was glad I saw these movies alone.  I actually got to sit and relax, reflect on the movie when it was done, and formulate my own opinion without having to hear everyone explain why they loved it or hated it.  

When I originally watched movies, I’d see them with either my older brother or my father.  I’d see some movie like "Tomorrow Never Dies", and I’d be really excited to see it because it has James Bond in it.  For all intents and purposes it would deliver big time in my eyes, and I’d leave completely satisfied…until I’d get in the car and ask "What did you think?"

"Ummmm…I dunno….it could’ve been better."

WHAT?!?!?!  But, James Bond….and…..the motorcycle….the helicopter that blew up….the way he killed that one big guy….WERE YOU WATCHING THE SAME FILM??????

Then I’d get discouraged.  I’d feel that my opinion was flawed for some reason, and it must have been somewhat bad.

Fortunately I realized with the following Bond movies that I was right to like the movie.  James Bond always has sex with several hot chicks, blows something big up, and beats up some guy who has superhuman strength (OddJob, Jaws, That guy with the bullet in his brain so he can’t feel pain).  What guy wouldn’t go nuts for a James Bond movie, they’re all great with the exception of the Timothy Dalton ones.  

One movie that got me to start seeing movies by myself was "The Village".  Going into the movie people had some sort of beef with M. Night Shymalan.  He put out three movies that had surprise endings that would make people say ‘Why didn’t I see that coming?"  Maybe people didn’t like that feeling.  Maybe it made them feel dumb.  For whatever reason people hated "The Village" before it even came out.  I saw the movie with about 10 people, and eight out of ten people hated it.  I didn’t think it was that bad, and thought it was a good film, but one other guy started defending it to the point where it was just obnoxious.  It was almost as if he was painting the picture that everyone wasn’t smart enough to appreciate the film.  Then I made up my mind that it was a bad film.  I at first thought it was good, but after hearing this guys condescending tone, I decided that it wasn’t nearly that  good.  So when people would ask about my opinion, I’d say "eh, it was just alright."

After watching it a second time years later, I felt that it was a very good film.  It had a lot of moments that I was fascinated by, and I decided that M. Night Symalan only makes good thought provoking movies and I should not let other people sway my opinion.

Then I saw Lady in the Water.  It blew.  Most people said it blew, and they were right, but I was glad that I decided it blew for myself.

I like seeing movies without having someone’s immediate review afterwards, even though I miss being able to tell someone my immediate review.  This sacrifice is necessary though, because it allows me to think about the movie for a good while, even if it was crap.

There are some definite pluses to seeing movies alone.  No one ever sits next to you because they assume someone is with you, but they’re in the bathroom or snackbar.  You get to pick the movie you want to see without having to compromise. You can imagine how hard it is to get another guy to see Brokeback Mountain with you (quite frankly I didn’t try to ask anyone).

Another advantage is that you can sit wherever you want.  You don’t have to try to find a row that can sit all your friends, you don’t have to worry about other people’s preferences, if you wanna sit in the second row, that’s your row.  I went to a movie one time where someone wanted to sit in one of those "side seats" rather than an empty third row.  So instead of slighly tilting my head upward I had to angle it to the right.  It amazes me that theatres that still have those seats and never angled them toward the screen.

If you haven’t tried seeing a movie by yourself, try it.  You’d like it.  But don’t try eating at a restaurant alone.  That just looks incredibly sad.  Eat at the bar, the restaurant assigns you a communal friend called "the bartender".

Speaking of restaurants I have to write about the recent invasion of Brazilian BBQ restaurants.  Brazilain BBQ has recently become my favorite ethnic food, surpassing chinese, japanese, mexican, thai, and italian.  All Brazilian BBQ does is bring a neverending amount of meats to your table.  If they went one step furhter they’d just slice the steak and put it in your mouth.  It comes right out of the oven, you take as much as you want, and if you miss something just wait, it will come back eventually.  

Most of these places offer a regualar buffet on the side, in case you want sides with your meat.  Frankly I save the room for more meat (not in the gay way), because for 21 dollars I’m eating my fair share.

CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ HOT RIGHT NOW-  The Grande Quesadilla at Taco Bell.  It’s friggin’ huge. Very filling.  Creates a solid bowel movement.  Nuff said.

CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW-  The Mascot Hall of Fame.  Now I’m all for a hall of fame for Mascots, but the candidates this year boggle my mind.  The Seattle Moose?  The mascot who tried to murder Coco Crisp by vehicular homicide this year?   The Oriole Bird?  The same bird that willingly injected Rafael Palmeiro with steroids?  I’m sorry people, but this is wicked gay.  This is what they get for inducting the San Diego Chicken, the Philly Phanatic, and the Phoenix Gorilla in the inaugural year.  Those are our country’s greatest mascots, they could start a mascot dream team.  The San Diego chicken is the Jackie Robinson of mascots.  The Philly Phanatic was the most inovative mascot ever created.  The Phoenix Gorilla is the INVENTOR of mini-tramp dunks through a hoop of fire.  What does Hugo the New Orleans Hornet do?  Create awareness of the New Orleans Hornets?  If that’s so, then he’s doing a shitty job.  And where was he during Katrina?  Just sayin’.

You can visit the hall at www.mascothalloffame.com , but be careful, it may infuriate you like it did to me.        

Wicked gay.