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In Love, Wendy’s, World Series, Perfect High Five
By Dan | October 16, 2007
I’m in love. I’ve never felt this way about anything before. Its as if love is a big warm blanket and I’m totally snuggling with it. I have butterflies in the stomach, I’m totally distracted at work, utterly utterly utterly in love. Unfortunately it won’t last, because I’m already halfway done with the book.
What did you think I was talking about? A girl? Gay.
I guess being in love with a book is gay too, but this isn’t just any book. It’s Stephen Colbert’s I Am America (And So Can You) and it’s the funniest book I’ve ever read. If you are a fan of the show, you must buy this book. No library copies, buy it. You shant be dissapointed. Colbert admits that he didn’t actually write the book, he merely tape recorded himsef talking over the Colombus Day Weekend, threw the tape at his agent and said "sell this".
This book shows me that Colbert isn’t just a funny guy, but is making his way to comedic genius. With opinions like "Baby carrots are trying to turn me gay" I don’t see how anyone can hate this man.
I went to Wendy’s the other day and ordered my usual ’shitload-o-food’. Shitload-o-food consists of a Spicy Chicken combo with two items from the dollar menu, usually jr. bacon cheeseburgers. Its bad enough that I have to see everything I ordered on the drive thru screen, but now the drive thru guy made a comment that has sent me into a shame spiral.
"You’re not hungry or anything, are you? Nyahahahaha."
DoucheBAG.
Just give me the goods and I’ll be on my way. Thats all I ask from any drive thru.
Looking at the sox schedule it appears that if the World Series goes to a game 6, it will land on Haloween. Looks like New England trick or treaters are getting screwed this year. Take that ya bastards.
Why does everyone in sox nation start to panic when we have to play in a NL ballpark? David Ortiz is a baseball player, he’s totally capable of playing first base, which he has done in the past. GAWD forbid whiny-pants-Youklis gets moved to the outfield. My solution, KEEP Youklis at First and have Papi releif pitch. The Rockies may score a shitload of runs, but as long as we keep 1 run on top of them, we should be fine.
For my money, there’s no better dessert than the cookie sundae at firefly’s. Num a dum dum nummy nums.
CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATZ HOT RIGHT NOW- High fives! Ever attempt a high five and only get 10% of a persons hand during the actual slapping of the hands and it looks embarrasing and you say to yourself ‘im never trying a high five again’. Well now you can get perfect high fives EVERY time thanks to this blog. Look at the persons nose. I dont know the science behind it, but you never miss when you look directly at the person’s nose. Its awseome. I’ve totally replaced hand shakes with high fives. High fives at meetings, visiting sick kids in the hospital, and I’m now using high fives as my official "Sign-of-peace" when I go to church.
CHAMP TELLZ YOU WHATS WICKED WICKED WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW- Not Wendy’s Chili. How can this be fast food. Its delicious, like a restaurant’s chili. And the best part is, you can get this magnificent chili with your combo instead of Wendy’s GAWFUL fries. Not many people know this, but Dave Thomas died of shame after taste testing the fries at Wendy’s.
Wicked gay.
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