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Week 11 Picks, Southland Tales, Stupid Arguments
By Dan | November 17, 2007
It’s all important week 11 in the NFL and here’s the only picks you need to know (sorry bout last week’s picks) :
Jacksonville Faguars over the Whale’s Vagina Chargers
Cleveland Steamers over the Baltimore Ravens
Houston Texans over the New Orleans Taints
Green Bay Packers over the Carolina Panthers
Indian-ass-hole-lick Colts over the Kansas City Queefs
Minnesota Vikings over the Oakland Raiders
Philadelphia Eagles over the Miami Dolphins
Tampa Bay Fuckinqueers over the Atlanta Falcons
Cinncinnatti Bungholes over the Arizona Cardinals
Pittsburgh Steelers over the New York Suck Ass
Dallas Cowboys over the Washington Redskins
St. Louis Rams over the San Fransisco Silly-Nannies
New England Right Hand of Gawd over the Buff N’ Blow Bills
No time for my thoughts on each game, spent too much time writing funny names for teams.
UPSETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Detroit over the New York Ass Suck
Chicago over Seattle now that Rexy-boy is back
Tennessee Titans over Denver Broncos
I saw Southland Tales today. I didn’t care about it ‘being from the director of Donnie Darko’ crap, I came for one reason and one reason only: Jon Lovitz as an asshole villain cop. He was only in it for 5 minutes, but GOD DAMN did he deliver! Give this man an oscar, he truly is a national treasure. He can do ANY kind of movie. What’s next? Dr. Strange-Lovitz? Wait a minute that’s a brilliant idea! (a little inside I know)
Justin Timberlake was in the movie too. I keep looking at this guy, and I just dont get it. Girls want him so bad, and rappers want him to do backup vocals on their albums, but he always comes off ‘faggy’ to me. Does any one else get a faggy-vibe from Justin Timberlake?
Speaking of faggy-vibes it’s time for this weeks….
IT’S OK TO HAVE A MAN-CRUSH ON…
Batman. Not only does the new Batman movie open this summer, but Six Flags New England has announced that it is constructing a brand-new roller coaster to coincide with the film’s opening. The ride is said to use elements from the movie, with the theme being Batman trying to stop the demonic Joker.
I was already excited to see the movie, but now we get a roller coaster too!?!?! Thank you Batman. I’m totally gay for you right now, and that’s ok.
OFF THE EVITE LIST FOR GOOD…..
Barry Bonds. I don’t really care about the indictment, but why does this story have to dominate SportsCenter. Lets get back to New England Sports dominating SportsCenter. Thanks to Barry Bonds I didn’t get any Bruins Highlights, MLS CUP 2008 preview, another Miami Dolphin from the 70’s complaining about the Pats, Mike Lowell Free Agency updates, or Bill Walton swooning for a rediculous amount of time about the AWESOMENESS that is the Celtics. Thanks Barry, you asshole.
WHAT’S HOT RIGHT NOW…..
The Office. How great was last night’s episode? Dwight dominating at ping pong while texting on his phone, Michael saying "That’s what she said" during a deposition, Toby talking about his parents divorce and having Michael knock his lunch on the floor. Get this writer’s strike over with, because I need more of this show.
WHAT’S WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW…..
My mom. My mother is a teacher’s aid in a school, and was upset that a correct answer for a multiple choice question was "Several planets in the Solar System have rings" accoring to a teacher’s manual. She said that a girl in the class questioned the teacher saying that the manual was incorrect, but the teacher stood by the manual. My mother asks me "Danny, how many planets have rings?" I explained that all the Jovial planets have rings, even though some plantes have more prominet ones than others. Mom says ‘well, that’s still not several.’ I then say that several means more than two, but less than many, so four out of eight could qualify as several, making that girl a dumbass for questioning. My mother just said "Oh, your just being a smart-ass to get me mad." I’m all like "Whatever, go back to making my breakfast."
Moms. Wicked gay.
Their breakfasts are great though.