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Leap Year, Match.com, Bruits, Celtics, Wrestlemania, Bartolo Colon, 21 Nickles
By Dan | February 29, 2008
Haven’t written a blog in two weeks, and thought now would be as good a time as any since I won’t have another oppurtunity to write a blog on February 29th for another 4 years. You’d think that a day that doesn’t come around for 4 years would be cause for some big celebration, but it isn’t. Just another cold ass day in February.
My after school program is getting recertified next month, which is a huge pain in the ass because I’m getting bogged down with work. That Las Vegas vacation can’t come fast enough. Double cheeseburgers for breakfast, nachos for lunch, and prime rib for dinner every fuckin day.
Wash it down with a shitload of budweisers too.
Been doin my match.com, and its been goin pretty well. I’ve only been on 3 dates so far this year, which I thought was good, but now that we’re getting into the third month of the year I’m pretty much averaging a date a month, which is pretty depressing. Hopefully when recertification ends I can devote more time to it.
Went to a Bruins game on Tuesday and (holy shit) they won! Not only did they win, but they did it against the best team in the league! AND IT WAS A SHUTOUT! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! With Zdeno Chara and Tim Thomas both kicking ass right now, it may be time to start getting gay with the B’s!
But let’s continue getting gay with the C’s first.
Sam Cassell sounds good on paper, but I really fuckin hate the little shit after his last Boston performance. If he’s trying to look good for the team, who drop so many punk cards on Rondo? If we do sign this guy, he better be one charming motherfucker and bake Rondo a big batch of apology cookies (plain sugar cookies are classic apology cookies).
I know its fake, but I’m getting all goose-pimply for Mayweather/Big Show at Wrestlemania. It’s about time we have a boxer vs. wrestler match. Big Show is at his peak right now after losing 100 pounds and looking jacked as hell, and you can’t get a bigger boxer than mayweather. Fuck the rest of the card, this is the match I’m wanting to see.
3 REASONS TO SEE MORE SEA DOGS GAMES:
3.) Possibility of Bartolo Colon making an ass of himself
2.) Possibility of Bartolo Colon returning to dominance
1.) Those ice cream sandwiches with the chocolate chip cookies on the outside and vanilla ice cream in the middle
WHAT’S WICKED HOT RIGHT NOW: Deep Frying! Went to Stop and Shop with friends on Sunday to buy random stuff to deep fry in my buddy’s new deep fryer. Pizza Rolls, Tater Tots, Chicken Wings, Smuckers Uncrustables, Brownie Bite 100 Calorie Packs, Hostess Cherry Fruit Pies, and Fluffenutters were among the items bought. After frying the Uncrustables, 100 Caloire packs, Fruit Pies, Tater Tots and Chicken Wings our bodies couldn’t take anymore. Seriously, it was worse than being drunk.
A lot of people ask me why I’d do that, but it’s just what pioneers do. When Hillary Clinton climbed Mount Everest people asked her why she’s do such a thing, and Hill-dawg would simply answer "Because it’s there." And that’s how I feel about deep frying experimentation. The deep fryers there, time to change the world. You all scoff at me now, but wait until deep fried fluffernutters are the summertime hit of the Sox season at Fenway (deep fried fluffernutters patent pending)
OFFICIAL CHICKEN WING OF THE CHAMPZILLA BLOG: Salt and Pepper Wings at 21 Nickels in WaWA-town. I swear to God it’s like eating a miniature turkey leg. To hell with wet saucy wings, these wings are the best ever, and official wing of the blog.
By the way, if you happen to go to 21 nickels and play Big Buck Hunter, try shotting at the Big Horn Sheep course. If you hit 2, it’s called a "Double Ram". Nyahahahahaha.
(Note to the ladies: Shooting 3 of the male sheep is called a "Triple Ram" but I found that so offensive I just put down the plastic gun, paid my tab and left. I’m a gentleman first and a video-hunting simulation enthusiast second.)
WHAT’S WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW: My camera-less cell phone. I’m not someone who likes taking a lot of pictures, but my need for a camera phone has finally been realized.
(Note to the ladies: You can stop reading now)
After finally recovering from a very nasty stomach bug I decided to celebrate by kicking my stomach’s ass with Taco Bell, kind of a big "fuck you" for the past couple of days. After drinking some pepto-bismol and eating 3 tacos and a burrito I had to use the restroom. My crap wasn’t wicked huge like a football or anything, but it was the longest I had ever seen. It had to have been over a foot, and it kind of curved on both ends, so it looked like the mathematical symbol for infinity. So here I am, just took a dump that looks like infinity, and no camera phone. It broke my heart to flush that thing knowing the best I could do was blog about it.
So that’s why I’m now in the market for a camera phone. Not to take pictures of my friends when we’re all out, but to be able to have cold hard evidence if I ever make the reality out of every man’s dream and poop the world’s biggest poop. It could happen, you never know.
It would also be good to have in case GraveDigger tries to jump that MotoCross ramp at the DCU center again. He’s done it 9 times in the past 3 years and 9 times he almost didn’t make it back.
Topics: Drinking, Food, Sports |
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