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1421, Mono, Ladybugs, Work… etc
By Dan | March 4, 2008
Feeling a little blue today so I thought I’d write for a bit.
I got the let’s be friends talk last night from a girl I had been seeing for a little bit. It’s not that big a deal since we had only been out 3 times, but what kills me is its the millionth time I’ve gotten that line. I remember when my first girlfriend dumped me in High School she said that we should be friends like "Jerry and Elaine" from Seinfeld. For the record I still say to this day that such a relationship does not exist and simply is not possible, but back then I was willing to give it a shot.
I remember absolutely hating it. I dated the girl for about half a year, we were frequently tossing the word "love" around and now we were ‘friends’. I remember she’d invite me to group things as friends, parties she threw as freinds, and it just became too much for me. So one day I came up to her and said that the friend thing wasn’t working out for me, so it would probably be best if we stopped trying it. Suddenly I became the world biggest asshole.
"What? How dare you?!?! You don’t wanna be my friend? Fuck you then!"
Then I’d get emails from her friends saying stuff like "I think that’s real shitty. She wanted to be your friend, your an asshole."
So in a weird way it seems that the hurt of rejection is supposed to be nullified with the "lets be friends" talk, kind of like calling a person a fucking douchebag but throwing in a "just kiddin guy" right after it. And why would I need more friend anyways, I can barely stand mine as it is (still on for pizza saturday, right guys?)
I gotta say it’s a lot easier getting that line after only a couple dates then after months in a relationship though. When things aren’t clicking and going out seems awkward that line serves as a good out instead of just trying to force something.
I was having a pretty good day at work yesterday. I felt it was one of the best professional days I’ve ever had. I got a lot of paperwork done, I was having a lot of fun with the kids, and even had some friendly banter with the parents. Even volunteering at special olympics went well. I had to time laps for a lot of the participants, which went a lot smoother than other years. I remember one time yelling at an olympian "kick your legs, your not kicking!" only to find out later that he really couldnt use his legs. Derp!
I was wondering why the kids were being so sweet to me yesterday. It seemed suspicious, they were all smiling and drawing me pictures and hugging me. I had one little Kindergarten girl hand me a folded up piece of construction paper that said "Book abawt Dan". I opened it up and it had a bunch of hand drawn pictures of me, and next to it had some very cute mispelled text.
It said:
Dan is speshl
Dan is fun
Dan is Soperer
Dan is funy
Dan is lovd.
I thought it was the best thing I’d ever gotten, so I wanted to thank the girl. I walked over to the arts and crafts table where a huge group of kids were huddled over the table working on something big. I thought the girl inspired the kids to make something really huge for me, but instead they had made a little hotel room with paper beds and paper pillows and were picking up ants off the floor and putting them in their creation. It was a bizzare way of finding out I had an ant infestation under the rugs in our room. I took the hotel they had made, which was now covered with ants, and put it outside via the window with all the kids protesting.
The little girl soon returned to me after I took care of all the ants and handed me a single sheet of paper that simply said "I hat you Dan". Amazing how attached kids got to those bugs. It got me thinking though, I should get a terrarium and start a ladybug farm. I’ve had a ladybug infestation in my house for years, but since I’m extremely superstitious I’ve never been able to kill them. Now I can just transport them to the school and the kids can keep them as pets. Then I’ll be a hero again! (Also won’t have to deal with ladybugs in the shower anymore, ugh)
Me Chinese, Me no dumb, me discover America in 1421:
A new theory of the discovery of America has recently come to light, and it states that the Chinese discovered America long before Colombus did. This has apparently caused an uproar in the historian community who are pissing themselves just thinking of the Chinese coming to California in 1421 thus being able to visit Disney California Adventure before anyone else (P.S.–They thought it sucked too.) I could give two shits either way, since I beleive in the Chris Rock theory. You can’t discover something that has people already on it, making this debate quite lame.
What’s wicked gay right now: Bruins losing 10-2. What the balls? Did we even start a goalie?
What’s wicked hot right now: Randy Moss coming back to the Pats, and Brett Farve leaving the NFL. Thank GAWD. First off, I need this superbowl loss to stop hurting, and the only way to do that is to win a superbowl which we can do with randy moss. Second, Bret Farve should have left a long time ago. I’m sick of all the time FOX NFL sunday has wasted on this guy. I’m much more interested in what Michael Strahand puts on his pizza. Bacon and Olives? If you say so Bubba Gump.
Topics: Personal |