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Sex and the City Movie, Dropkick Murphy’s, Human Giant, South Park
By Dan | March 13, 2008
WHAT’S WICKED HOT RIGHT NOW- Sex and the City movie previews. I’m not gonna lie, I’m totally gay for this movie right now and it hasn’t even opened yet. I’m not as gay for it as I am for the new Batman movie, but this is number 2, even above the new Indiana Jones. If you haven’t seen the preview yet, go to yahoo and watch it. From what I saw it looks like Mr.Big and Carrie are set to get married when Big calls it off via text message (holy crap!), Miranda is coping with her husband Steve having an affair (Holy CRAP!), Samantha wants to be single again and get her sniz pounded every night (HOLY CRAP!) and Charlotte is pregnant (meh).
This works for me on so many levels. First off, for all those people who liked the ending to the series, this preview is one giant middle finger. I knew Big was an asshole! TAKE THAT CARRIE! That’s for dumping adorable Aidan! You had your shot baby, now it’s gone.
Second, Miranda finally gets taken down a peg. She’s not hot at all, of COURSE Steve is gonna cheat. YOU SUCK MIRANDA!
And MOST important, Samantha is gonna be naked on the big screen. I always hated that the series ended and she decides to settle down. That’s so Un-Samantha like, am I right ladies?
WHAT’S WICKED GAY RIGHT NOW- Dropkick Murphy’s Tickets. I always thought that the hottest ticket in Boston at St. Patrick’s Day was the Dropkick Murphy’s, since they’re always sold out year after year, so when I saw that a second Lowell show had been scheduled I immediately spent 120 dollars on 4 tickets. I immediately wished I could have bought more, because I assumed that all of my friends would be totally jealous of these awesome tickets. After going down my entire list of friends, I realize that NO ONE cares about the Dropkick Murphy’s as much as I do. I guess after the Departed and the 2007 Red Sox season I developed a man-crush for their music, but it looks like everyone else just focused on the film’s cinematography and the excellent catching prowess of Jason Varitek (he really is a joy to watch). It either looks like I’m going with rando’s or I’ll be spending my Saturday night scalping in Lowell. Wicked gay.
I decided to Tivo the show Human Giant this week and must say I was pleasantly surprised. The sketches were wicked funny, and seemed to be done by a very small cast. It reminded me a lot of Kids in the Hall with no cross-dressing. I especially like the child talent agency sketches. The one with the kids running a prison on the new CBS show Kiditentiary was brilliant, especially when the prisoner’s riot. Laughed my balls off.
The new season of South Park started last night and it dissapointed me. It has been dissapointing me for a while. There haven’t really been any killer episodes in a long time, and now the episodes seem to be all over the place. Cartman has aids, infects Kyle, and they inject Magic Johnson’s money into their veins to cure themselves. What point is that supposed to make? Highlight of the episode was Jimmy Buffet singing Cure-burger in Paradise only to have Cartman scream “Fuck You Jimmy Buffet! You Fuckin’ Suck!” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
THE CHAMP ANSWERS YOUR EMAILS- “Champ, I was wonderin, if the sex and the city movie casted ninja turtles instead of actresses to play the four leading roles, who would play who?” — Abraham Lincoln
That’s a great email question Mr. Lincoln. As it just so happens, I was thinking that on the toilet right before I started blogging. I beleive I have an answer for you, which may cause future debates/riots.
Carrie- Now Carrie is indeed the leader of the group, so she has to be played by one of two turtles, either Leonardo (the leader of the cartoon turtles) or Raphael (the leader of the movie turtles). I’m gonna have to go with Leonardo here, since on the show Leonardo constantly smoked, drank cosmos with his gay friend (Casey Jones), and constantly fell for the wrong man (The Rat King, Kang, Rocksteady)
Samantha- Samantha in a no-brainer is played by Michaelangelo, because God bless them, they love to party.
Miranda- Miranda is played by Raphael, not only because they’re red, sarcastic, and masters of the Sai, but because they both walk around like they’re shit don’t stink and they’ve both been converted into Monster Truck form at Monster Jam racing events (The Sex and the City ‘Cunt-o-saurus Wrex’ lost to Tom Meents’ ‘Maximum Destruction’ in the 2007 World Finals Freestyle competition, but there really is no shame in losing to Tom Meents)
Charlotte- Charlotte is played by Donatello for the sole purpose that they both married Jewish (btw- Donatello does NOT recommend it)
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