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Application to be Champ’s New Black Friend
By Dan | April 7, 2008
It’s hard to beleive, as beloved as I am in the african-american community, I’ve yet to have a black friend enter my circle. Well it’s time for a change. If you’re black and somehow managed to find this site, why not apply for the position of my new black friend? (Note: Each question is designed with an answer that will weed out white people trying to ruin the application process. So don’t even try honkies!)
Question 1.) KFC or Popeye’s?
a.) KFC
b.) Popeye’s
c.) KFC as an appertizer with a main course of Popeye’s.
d.) I don’t eat Fried Chicken.
Question 2.) We’re watching a zombie movie, and the villain gets his intestines ripped out and eaten by zombies. Which best resembles your response?
a.) Shit!
b.) That shit is whack!
c.) That shit is fucked up!
d.) Ew, gross.
Question 3.) You’ve become so fond of me as a friend you decide to give me a nick name. What nick name do you give me?
a.) Zilla
b.) Champ-dizzle
c.) Big Daddy Champ
d.) Champers!
Question 4.) Of all the Thundercats, which one do you most identify with?
a.) Panthro
b.) Someone else
Question 5.) Which presidential candidate’s campaign slogan do you find most appealing?
a.) John McCain– “The American President America Has Been Waiting For.”
b.) Hillary Clinton– “Help Make History.”
c.) Barrack Obama– “Down With the Bitches and Hos!”
Question 6.) Write a 2000 word essay on why you think you’d be good for the position:
a.) ______________________________________________________
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b.) Fuck that shit.
Please send application to dan@champzilla.com
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