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Champzilla’s Balls Across America: Dodger Stadium
By Dan | May 3, 2008
Just got back from my Los Angeles/Las Vegas Trip last week, and think I’ve finally managed to recover from it. While Las Vegas is my favorite city in the whole wide world and probably the inspiration for hundreds of future posts, Los Angeles was an absolute shithole.
The traffic in Los Angeles is worse than anything I’ve ever seen, and I’ve driven to Cape Cod on 93 South during an IKEA sale. Traffic stops dead in L.A. at 2:30 in the afternoon, and barely budges for hours, and the smog in the city is so bad it makes you feel like you’ve driven onto the set of Stephen King’s “The Mist”. I got to see the Hollywood sign, but I really could’ve given two shits. The #1 reason for driving the 4 hours (not including traffic) from Vegas to L.A. was to see Dodger Stadium, home of the Los Angeles Dodgers.
I’ll be honest– I would have much rather seen Angel Stadium. It consistently gets high rankings in sports magazines as one of the nations best ballparks, and I’m also a big Vlad Guerrero fan (last of the great Expos). Unfortunately, the Angels were all the way back in Boston, which meant the only ballpark available to see a game in was Dodger Stadium.
Dodger Stadium is currently the fifth oldest ballpark in the majors, soon to be third with the Yankees and Mets both getting new homes next year. Having first opened in 1962, it has a real 1960’s feel to it, which makes it very unique from its older brothers Fenway Park and Wrigley Field which still have their turn-of-the-century charms. Dodger Stadium was the last stadium to be built before the “multi-purpose stadium era” and is currently the oldest ballpark on the West Coast.
My ticket was in the Outfield Pavillion. The ticket cost 30 dollars and included all-you-can-eat concessions. I can’t begin to tell you what an unbeleiveable deal that is. Not only am I watching a major-league game from homerun ball territory, I get all the nachos, peanuts, popcorn, hot dogs, and soda I can eat/drink. Give the man whoever thought this one up an award, because he needs to be recognized for his genius (Note to ladies: You know this idea wasn’t created by a woman, so don’t even think about sending me complaints).
As luck would have it one of my top three favorite Red Sox pitchers of all time was on the mound: Derek “she-hit-the-flo’-next-thing-you-know-shorty-got” Lowe (he honestly came out to that song). It really was a pleasure seeing him pitch again, and not to mention seeing him hit live for the first time, even if he is a Dodger now. Nomar was there too, but I didn’t wanna get too close, I don’t want him cursing the Sox again.
Two things really urked me about Dodger Stadium. One was the shitty hot dogs. I know they’re free, but a Dodger dog has surpassed the Oriole Park Eskee-Dog as the worst ballpark frank I’ve ever eaten. It was very rubbery and salty, kind of dried out even. The bun was shit too. Why can’t I get a normal hot dog bun for my hot dog? The other thing that really got under my skin is the fact that I couldn’t walk around the stadium with my Pavillion ticket. I was trapped inside this small area, completely shut out from seeing the entire Stadium. I couldn’t even get access to the official team gift shop to get my souvenier baseball! Now that’s a serious flaw (all-you-can-eat nachos almost made up for it).
The best thing about Dodger Stadium is that it’s deliciously retro. It’s very rare nowadays for a ballpark to make you feel like you’ve just walked into a specific decade in time, and I did have a feeling as if I was walking around in the 1960’s. Maybe it’s the bench seats in the pavillion area, or the dulled flourescent colors seen throughout the Stadium, but Dodger Stadium definitely has an atmosphere of pure baseball nostalgia that only it can offer fans. It even has a trough in the Men’s room for Christ sake! I haven’t pissed in a trough since I was 5 years old at my first Red Sox game. I didn’t even know they still existed in the Major League! I didn’t have to pull my pants down to my ankles, lift my shirt up, stand on my tippy-toes and rest my penis on the edge like I did back then in Fenway, but I almost wanted to just for oldtime’s sake.
All in all, Dodger Stadium is a good take, and one of the only reasons I can think of for visiting L.A. I recommend sitting in the Pavillion section for the All-You-Can-Eat concessions and the blessing of not having to be forced to see Los Angeles’ shitty skyline during the game.
Final score- 7 out of 10 balls
Topics: Balls Across America, Dan, Food, Sports |
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