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The 50 Greatest Things EVER (#50-41)
By Dan | August 3, 2008
It occured to me recently that the only real way to bring traffic to the site is to make lists of things. Many bloggers have resorted to this, and its about time I did the same. Luckily for my readers I’m not going to write your average top ten list, I’m going to write a top fifty list of the greatest things. Yes, that’s right, the 50 greastest things ever.
#50- Cargo shorts/pants. Thank God someone invented these. In today’s world, I need more pockets than ever. A pocket for my wallet, a pocket for my keys, a pocket for my cell phone, a pocket for my ipod, etc. Well cargo shorts have got me covered. Not only do I have pockets everywhere, even some of my pockets have pockets on them! (FYI, those little pockets are for chapstick or chewing gum. A lot of people don’t know that)
#49- Those episodes of ‘Thundercats’ where Lion-o had to fight the other Thundercats in hand-to-hand combat ‘Thundercat Trials’. Does anyone else remember these from their childhood? I couldn’t remove myself from the television I was so fascinated. Anyone who whips Panthro’s ass is man enough to be ‘King of the Thundercats’ in my book.
#48- Kimbo Slice Fights. I know most fans of MMA hate this guy, but c’mon, he’s a giant black man who beats guys unconscious with his bare hands. I even think he fought a bear or something once and kicked its ass.
#47- Discovery Channel’s Shark Week. An entire week devoted to programs about shark attacks? Yes please!
#46- The Three Stooges. You probably can’t get a guy to tell you who the last 5 U.S. Presidents were, but they can definitely tell you who the succesors were to Curly’s empty stooge spot.
#45- The crunchy cookie stuff in between the layers of a Carvel ice cream cake. If I could, I’d eat this every morning in a bowl with milk as if it were cereal. Damn you society!
#44- The end of Lethal Weapon 2 where the bad guy screams “Diplomatic Imunityyyyyyyy!” and then Danny Glover shoots him in the head and says “It’s just been revoked.” Awesome.
#43- Sportscenter. This program is what I wake up to every morning, and now with TIVO I can fast forward through all the unpleasant Bret Farve stuff.
#42- Monster Trucks. The Grave Digger Monster Truck has jumped the forbidden Motocross ramp in the middle of the stadium 273 times this year alone and all 273 times almost didn’t make it. When are these guys going to get our respect?
#41- McDonald’s Coke. You may not believe me, but the Coke that is served at McDonalds is indeed the best Coke in the world. Some say they chill the soda syrup. Some say it’s blessed by Pope Benedict. Whatever the case, it’s quite possibly the most refreshing drink ever created by the human race.
Well folks, that’s all until next time when I present #40-31 on Greaest Things Ever. Remember to check back Tuesday for another review by Jack Red!
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Topics: Dan, Food, Movies, Sports, TV |
August 3rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Dan you want me to do that movie I’ll do it only if you can get me a hold of the movie.
August 4th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Champ, if this list had a #51, I would nominate “the first cut into a fresh piece of construction paper.”