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Champzilla.com NFL Preview 2008
By Dan | September 3, 2008
No, I didn’t forget. We’re one day away from the NFL season, and Champzilla.com arrives just in time (several weeks after the release of Sports Illustrated’s and ESPN the Magazine’s NFL Preview Isssues) to whet your pigskin appetite (or wet your pigskin vagina if you’re a Dolphins fan)
AFC East-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The New England Patriots
ESPN the Mag Sez: The New England Patriots
Champzilla.com: The New England Patriots. How can anyone pick against the Patriots in this division? With no major losses on offense (even upgrades on RB options) the Pats are set for another AFC East cakewalk. Old Man Farve can have fun chasing that Wild Card slot.
Fun Fact: The 2007 Patriots had more wins in their season than the three remaining AFC East teams combined!
AFC North-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Pittsburgh Steelers
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Pittsburgh Steelers
Champzilla.com Sez: The Pittsburgh Steelers. It’s fun to think the Browns could take it this year, but c’mon. Derek Anderson is a fine QB, but Big Ben is better. I’m still liking Pittsburgh’s Defense, but with a relatively weak running game and the toughest schedule in the NFL I’m not looking for Pittsburgh to run away with this division. 10-6 sounds just about right.
Fun Fact: The Cincinatti Bengals Defensive Line has gotten the OK from the parole board to come within 50 yards of the cheerleaders again.
AFC South-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Indianapolis Colts
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Indianapolis Colts
Champzilla.com Sez: The Indianapolis Colts. As long as Peyton stays healthy and continues to play as well as he does, the Jaguars will always be chasing that Wild Card slot. I think the AFC South will be the toughest division in the league this year. The Texans continue to grow and are sooooooo close to resembling an actual NFL team. The Titans have a healthy Lendale White this season, who I think will be the surprise hit of the year as far as Running Backs are concerned (my fantasy team sure hopes so).
Fun Fact: Peyton Manning has both male and female genitalia.
AFC West-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The San Diego Chargers
ESPN the Mag Sez: The San Diego Chargers
Champzilla.com Sez: The San Diego Chargers. I know, lame, but don’t blame me. Blame the AFC West. The Chiefs? Ewwww. The Raiders? Ewwwwww. The Broncos? EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Fun Fact: The 2008 Broncos starting QB is a 15 year old boy who won an essay contest at his school. Go Jay!
NFC East-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Philadelphia Eagles (WTF?)
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Dallas Cowboys
Champzilla.com Sez: The Washington Redskins. Here’s a team that’s going to fly under the radar this year, much like they did last year. I bet you almost forgot that the Redskins made the playoffs last year. You did, didn’t you? Campbell is continuing to grow as a QB, and Portis is a solid RB. Washington knows that it has a good offense on paper and they worked hard all offseason to build a good defense too, and it looks top ten caliber.
Fun Fact: The Philadelphia Eagles haven’t had a winning season ever since Donovan McNabb sold his soul to the Devil in return for a NFC Championship in 2004 (The Devil is a Pats fan, along with God and Santa)
NFC North-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Minnesota Vikings
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Green Bay Packers
Champzilla.com Sez: The Detroit Lions. Please God, I pick them every year, just let me be right this one time.
Fun Fact: Jon Kitna’s eyes become irritated when swimming in the chlorinated swimming pool at his local YMCA. Better invest in some goggles Jon.
NFC South-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers (WTF???)
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Carolina Panthers
Champzilla.com Sez: The New Orleans Saints. It seems like no matter how many hurricanes hit New Orleans before football season the Saints continue to survive. As long as Drew Brees does decent and Reggie Bush actually does something this year (I don’t know what, just something, anything even) the Saints will take this division.
Fun Fact: Nobody picked the Falcons.
NFC West-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Seattle Seahawks
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Seattle Seahawks
Champzilla.com Sez: The Seattle Seahwaks. And behold, the shittiest division in the NFL. Sehawks take this one easy.
Fun Fact: The Seahwaks cut Shaun Alexander to free up money that can be better spent on Mike Holmgren’s lunches. HOLMGREN HUNGRY!
AFC Wild Cards-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Jacksonville Jaguars and the Tennessee Titans
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Jacksonville Jaguars and the Houston Texans
Champzilla.com Sez: The Tennessee Titans and the Houston Texans
Fun Fact: Everybody’s totally gay for the AFC South this year.
NFC Wild Cards-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants
ESPN the Mag Sez: The Philadelphia Eagles and the New Orleans Saints
Champzilla.com Sez: The Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers
Fun Fact: 73% of all men in America would rather plow Jessica Simpson than win playoff games for the Cowboys. 1% are gay. 1% are Cowboy Fans. 25% are gay Cowboy fans.
SUPERBOWL 43-
Sports Illustrated Sez: The New England Patriots defeat the Philadelphia Eagles
ESPN the Mag Sez: The San Diego Chargers (gay) defeat the New Orleans Saints
Champzilla.com Sez: The New England Patriots defeat the Washinton Redskins
Fun Fact: I’m right.
….in an alternate reality where the New England Patriots did not exist-
Champzilla.com Sez: I guess I’d still give it to the NFC and the Washington Redskins. They’re my upset team this year and will hopefully win me many many many parlays this year.
Fun Fact: The Buffalo Bills, Baltimore Ravens, Chicago Bears, and 75% of the NFC West were not mentioned at all in this entire article until now.
September 7th, 2009 at 11:28 am
[…] It’s time again for The Big Dog to take on the top 2 sports magazines in the country and see who has the best NFL predictions. Let’s look back at last year’s post. If you don’t have it printed out and framed next to your computer, here’s the link http://www.champzilla.com/2008/09/03/champzillacom-nfl-preview-2008/ […]